Perform This Way Lyrics - Alpocalypse - Weird Al Yankovic

My mama told me when I was hatched 

Act like a superstar 

Save your allowance, buy a bubble dress 

And someday you will go far 

Now on red carpets, well, I'm hard to miss 

The press follows everywhere I go 

I'll poke your eye out with a dress like this 

Back off and enjoy the show! 

I'm sure my critics will say it's a grotesque display 

Well, they can bite me, baby -- I perform this way 

I might be wearin' Swiss cheese or maybe covered with bees 

It doesn't mean I'm crazy -- I perform this way 

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Ooo, my little monsters pay... lots 'cause I perform this way 

Baby, I perform this way 

Ooo, don't worry, I'm okay... hey, I just perform this way 

I'm not crazy, I perform this way 

I'll be a troll or evil queen 

I'll be a human jelly bean 

'Cause every day is Halloween 

For me... 

I'm so completely original 

My new look is all the rage 

I'll wrap my small intestines 'round my neck 

And set fire to myself on stage 

I'll wear a porcupine on my head 

On a W-H-I-M 

And for no reason now I'll sing in French 

Excusez-moi, Qui a pété? (Who cut the cheese?) 

Photos 

Got my straight jacket today, 

it's made of gold lamé 

No, not because I'm crazy 

I perform this way 

I strap prime rib to my feet, 

cover myself with raw meat 

I'll bet you've never seen a skirt steak worn this way 

Don't be offended when you see 

My latest pop monstrosity 

I'm strange, weird, shocking, odd, bizarre 

I'm Frankenstein, I'm Avatar 

There's nothing too embarrassing 

I'll honestly do anything 

But wear white after Labor Day 

'Cause baby, I perform this way 

Hope you won't think it's cliché if I go nude today 

Don't call the cops now, baby, 

I perform this way 

No reason I should regret all the attention I get 

I'm not completely crazy, 

I perform this way, yeah 

I perform this way-hey, 

I perform this way-hey 

I'm always deviating from the norm this way-hey 

I perform this way-hey, 

I perform this way-hey 

I'm really not insane, 

I just perform this way-hey