Watching the man up in the window. It always seems to me. That in 10 more years another someone may be watching me.. And do I really know what goes on inside?.
Maybe I'm jaded and bored. Always lookin' for more. Waiting around for the next big fix. I know. I'm a wreck I'm a mess. But I couldn't care less. Don't know what it would take to change me.
It's never been so crystal clear that I've been dying six months a year. And arguing with strangers about why I'm still here, woah oh. And no one let's me forget questions about my relevance.
I won't compete because I don't need to be. In front of someone that wants to compete with me. Who needs another aggravation. Or a fucked up situation.
Maybe I'm jaded and bored. Always lookin' for more. Waiting around for the next big fix. I know. I'm a wreck I'm a mess. But I couldn't care less. Don't know what it would take to change me.
So I will, I'll be the one who's coming clean. Yeah, with ever single thing. And all my thoughts in between. I wonder if anyone's just like me. A walking, a talking catastrophe.
I check the time, it's 4:00 a.m.. And I just passed the westside buildings. All the broken glass. As I try to shake the cold away, but anyways,. It's late at night and I'm about to crack.
There's not a doctor that can fix me. My disease is chronic and I've lost all self-control. Have you ever had your heart ripped out your throat?. Anxious and all alone, now stop and remember we're only human.
On a tuesday in the rain,. I never thought there'd come. A day if I put myself to the test,. Would I ever raise a fist. Would I just shut my mouth,. Would I just block it out?.
There was a time when I could say it right to you. that I was never going to leave this place. but now its "I was wrong". and "I don't wanna fucking talk about it".
Does being in debt feel just like a long lost friend?. Well just wait around 'cause the desperation's kicking in. Yeah its already starting to mix with one of my best pieces of fiction.
Trying not to hold my breath. But my lungs are filled inside this chest. And I've been helpless and I couldn't have cared less. Of anything that could or has been said.
Have you ever felt that. Something, you know that. Something that keeps you sane?. And you can't explain why --. But you know it's what's. Left inside you and I know that.
Something that's inside of me. It's something that I cannot see. Like rules and regulations. Passed down for generations. I wish I had my very own flag,.
So you say, all your white flags are up and that you've had enough and that you were tired of collecting dust, you say everything always looks the same and you made your brand new face to match your brand new place, you say all your distress calls have gone out and your ship is going down.
This is the modern world. This is the modern world. . What kind of fool do you think I am?. To think I know nothing but the modern world. All my life is spent outside.
I can't seem to recognize. Either side of this modern version or fading person I was. I tried to memorize dates and times of. Old accidents and the failed attempts.