Rocky Lyrics - Turtleneck & Chain - The Lonely Island

Here's a little story that I think you'll like 

It's not about Shaq or Iron Mike 

So buckle your seat belts it's gonna get choppy 

And listen to the tale of the time I fought Rocky 

One day me and all my friends were hangin' 

Talkin' 'bout which of the girls was most bangin' 

Then one friend says "you know who's really tough? 

Rocky" (hit me holmes) the boxer, man 

I said "yeah I know what about him?" he said 

"He's really tough" 

No way man, I'm callin' your bluff 

I think that I could take him and to prove my point 

I'll challenge him in public (hit me homes) 

YEAH THAT'S THE JOINT 

So the very next day stay true to my word 

And I snuck on tv, so I could be heard 

I said "Rocky if you're out there I think you're a nerd, 

And I'll lick you and bury you like a dog turd" 

I got kicked out but the candle was lit 

Cause the people had to know if my plan was legit 

It made the headlines then I got the call 

It was Rocky (hey) and he wanted to brawl 

We negotiated terms, and set the date 

Then I went into training to add some muscle weight 

While I punched on meat in a rickety shack 

He was sippin' on wine and havin' models rub his back 

At the weigh-in, boy the tension was high 

Me and Rock toe to toe and eye to eye 

I talked some trash we got pulled apart 

I shot him one last look to strike fear in his heart 

Skip ahead, the big night is finally here 

My body was ripped and my mind was clear 

We entered the arena to the roar of the crowd 

People chanting my name, I never felt so proud 

Faced off once more in the center of the ring 

Touch gloves, said a prayer, then the bell went (ding) 

He hit me with a left and shattered my face 

And a right sent my teeth all over the place 

Then another great punch caved in my eye socket 

He broke my jaw and my trainer yelled "stop it!" 

But nobody heard him and he crushed my ribs 

Blood sprayed off my face and onto some kids 

They yelled out "more!" and Rocky obliged 

I had to think of some way to turn the tides 

So I leaned back to hit him with all of my might 

Took a swing but he caught me with a sucker-punch right 

Then a sucker-punch left and a sucker-punch right 

Then twenty-two consecutive sucker-punch rights 

He tore off my arms and beat me with 'em 

Then threw acid in my face which obscured my vision 

He kicked me in the leg and fractured my shin 

The bone splinter shot right out of my skin 

People barfed in the crowd, they were going insane! 

Then Rocky punched my nose bone into my brain 

I was quivering and twitching when I soiled my shorts 

Then Rocky pissed on me, customary in sports 

The doctor came out and pronounced me dead 

And that was the night I fought Rocky