Cool Guy 5 Lyrics - Stan & Judy's Kid - Adam Sandler

-{Sean pulling up in his car to a hooker- 

GIRL #5:Hey, honey. 

SEAN:S'up baby?looking all smooth, standing on the corner at 3 in the morning and shit.You cold, baby?You want to use me as a blanket? 

GIRL #5:I'm just doing my thing. 

SEAN:Well, does doing your thing mean your tricky?'Cause I'd like to invest some of my hard earned money towards loving you, if you know what I getting at. 

GIRL #5:Well, how much you got, big man? 

SEAN:Well, I'm willing to drop 50 dollars on your ass, but there's a condition going on. 

GIRL #5:What's that? 

SEAN:You're going to have to put those lucious lips of yours on... my... slub-a-dub. 

GIRL #5:Ooh, I can do that. 

SEAN:You can? 

GIRL #5:Mm-hmm. 

SEAN:You mean, you ain't going make fun of the fact that I called my gizza-gazza a "slub-a-dub"? 

GIRL #5:Honey you can call your thing what ever you want to as long as you got 50 bucks. 

SEAN:oh sna-- well, alright then here's the 50 dollars,-{unzips pants- and here's my flip stick, now start wetting that thing up. 

GIRL #5:-{Opens his door- Sir, you are under arrest. 

-{police car pulls up- 

SEAN:You got to be fucking with mind here. 

GIRL #5:No, I'm not. 

COP:Good job denise.we'll take him from here. 

-{Cop hand cuffs Sean- 

SEAN:WHAT?!?! You going to arrest my ass for trying to get a ride on my slip 'n' slide?Fuck that shit. 

GIRL #5:Hey honey,when you get to jail, you're going to be on the other end of a slip 'n' slide, and I hope you enjoy yourself. 

SEAN:WWWWHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTT?!?!?! 

-{cop throws sean in back of police car- 

COP:Just get in the back, asshole. 

GIRL #5:-{from outside- You sick fuck. 

SEAN:Damn!!-{crying- This is a bunch of bullshit!!! 

PEEPER: Piss on me.-{also in the back of the police car- 

SEAN:WHAT?! 

PEEPER:Please, piss me. 

SEAN:NO!!! 

PEEPER:Just a tinkle. 

SEAN:Fuck that, keep him away from me. 

PEEPER:Urine. 

SEAN:Keep this man away from me.