1-900-sheila Lyrics - Singles - Cledus T. Judd

Cledus T. Juss/Bruce Burch/Vern Dant, La-Po Music (BMI)/Bruce Burch Music (SESAC)/Music Genesis (ASCAP) 

He-he-he-he-he lets see here now...one...nine hunderd... 

Hm-hm-hm boy, I sure hope I get a purdy'n. 

Maybe she'll look like Terry Clark or Faith Hill or somebody. 

Hm, hope this ain't a party line. 

Here we go! 

Ha-ha. I's laid up 'na house watchin' C.M.T. 

Thought I'd have a late night snack 

So I headed to the kitchen on a commercial break 

When sup'm called me back 

It was the sexiest voice that I'd ever heard 

Comin' out of my television set 

Said, "Call now, you can hear me live 

And I'll tell ya 'bout my naughtiness." 

So without hesitation or further ado 

I grabbed a hold of my Visa 

And dialed the number flashin' on my screen 

1-900-SHEILA 

You can tell it all to me 

I'm your phone fantasy 

1-900-SHEILA 

...Ohhhh man! Aaahh 

So I kicked back the recliner 

And on the second ring 

She whispered, "Hello. This is Sheila. 

Your credit card number, please." 

I said, "How much will it cost 

For this here trip to paradise?" 

She said, "You can't put a price on love" 

That's another $4.98 minute went bye 

After an hour of conversation 

She had me chewin' on the receiver 

Well, I worked up a sweat, I's out of breath 

Over 1-900-SHEILA 

You can tell it all to me 

I'm your phone fantasy 

1-900-SHEILA 

Like a man possessed I dialed her number 

Mornin' noon and night 

And slowly but surely we fell in love 

As my phone bill shot out of sight 

After so many costly heart to hearts 

I just had to meet her face to face 

She wouldn't give me her home address 

So I had her number traced. He-he. 

Well, I thought it'd lead to a passion palace 

Some penthouse in the sky 

And, I must admit I was a little let down 

When I found her in a double wide 

...A double wide??? 

That beauty that I envisioned 

That goddess that drove me crazy 

Answered the door with a cigar in her mouth 

And weighin' in at over two eighty. He-he-ho! 

They say love conquers all, well I reckon it's true 

Even when it's for a fee 

We said I do, and now were one 

Though she makes two of me 

And she talks to me no charge 

Every time she takes a breather 

And I'll never have to work 

As long as all you jerks dial 

1-900-SHEILA 

You can tell it all to me 

I'm your phone fantasy 

1-900-SHEILA 

...I love you baby. Come here to me. Smooch-smooch