This may be as good as it's gonna get. At least until summer rolls around. I'm just impaired at being patient. And teaching my teeth to keep the words from rolling out.
Am I allowed to say. That I feel better these days. Despite the rumors. Despite the plans that didn't go our way. Stumble to the overpass. A repeat of three years ago before.
I know you let it go. A long time ago. Along with us and everywhere we'll go. I love the way. You got a grip and stabbed away. At the backs that broke to help you from the start.
I threw you back in the water. Where it seems that you grew legs. Walked out on the other side. Shedding mermaid tales and former lives. Finally without me.
My heart doesn't beat like it should. I can feel it in my throat. With every paralyzing through. Ever full-breath attempted note. . No, I'm not the same.
I'm so tired. Of being conquered by. All the same old things. I want to hold my head up high. Just for today. Lately all the positive things that I say.
Never touch on the topic of entitlement. But I'm scared and weathered. Worn and weak,. Infantile, yet spent. I'll put a flag in this rock. A semblance of home.
This could've been a train wreck. A total disaster. The end of everything that to this point mattered. Nicks and scraped and fatal falls. Private breakdowns and tearful calls.
Would it be that hard. To turn and walk away. Forget everything I've said. Cause like it or not. The time has come for things to change. To live how you feel led.
We have one week left. And damn, I love these accents. But, my God, I miss my bed. And reading signs I understand. I still do love this. And I said I could keep it up.
Sidetracked to those steps today. The ones we always had to take. Our best-potential-friends to by the lake. The water's down, but it works for me. It always rises in the spring.
The leaves will all be gone when I get home. So I am counting on you to be the colors and the tones. I'm reading all your words from a thousand miles away.
Sometimes I think I died in the rafters that night. Shocked to death, barely 25. Limp limbs, heart electrified. One burnt arm, an open casket for these friends of mine.
A child on church steps. Reminding me of me. Not in my current state. More content, more clean at seventeen. Whoever he's talking to. I pray they're listening.
We're not playing games. So don't you act confused. Or take it as permission for you. To back down, sit it out,. Or not stand up at all. . And fight. Like you mean it and.
I can't separate reality from fact. Or read people any better that a sign on my own back. Trust is damaged, confidence is cracked. And has been. Long enough.
Go ahead, push play. It's the only way. You'll ever hear this voice again, dear. No, I'd never call you that. Not from a mile away with someone else's lips.
Just going through the motions. Has it been a week again?. It's hard to get out of bed with all the sunrise and sunsets blending in. I know it's hard but we'll get through.
I could spend all night trying to make my hand write the words. And for what it's worth I've been trying. To make this stick like nails to your heart so you'll always know you're worth.
In case I wasn't clear. I'm not mad at anyone. I'm just trying to let. Bygones by bygones. . But it's getting harder. When I feel so unwelcome. In something that I helped build.