Fly In The Ointment Lyrics - Singles - Ian Dury

Fly in the ointment 

Stain on the character 

Dust on the wainscot 

Hair on the gate 

Bee in the bonnet 

Ash on the waistcoat 

Flake on the shoulder 

Crack in the plate 

Eye on the clock 

Bat in the belfry 

Head in the sand 

Kick up the arse 

Smudge on the collar 

Hands in the paint 

Flea in the ear 

Snake in the grass 

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I though that you love me 

'Cos that's what you said 

Climb on the table 

Pat on the bed 

The further you love me 

You were taking the piss-tic 

Out of the frying pan 

Into the mystic 

Rock in the carpet 

Gap in the market 

The open umbrella 

But wait in the hall 

An old bit of gum 

With nowhere to park it 

Soldier of fortune 

Ear on the wall 

Photos 

I thought that you loved me 

Cos that's how I felt 

Kick in the bollocks 

Under the belt 

I thought that you loved me 

Now I know I'm a prune 

I wish through the window 

(this line is so mumbled I doubt he knows what he said) 

Knot in the hanky 

Rat on the landing 

Little bit hanging 

Pain in the bum 

Mind your own business 

Only one standing 

Wrong side of the bed 

Terrible hum 

I thought that you loved me 

Cos that's what you said 

Grub on the table 

Hat on the bed 

I thought that you loved me 

You were taking the piss-tic 

Out of the frying pan 

Into the mystic 

(note: the noises in the last verse and chorus are just him making 

Rolf Harris type noises, he doesn't actually say any proper words)