Family Funeral Fight Lyrics - Ray Stevens Box Set - Ray Stevens

Now he was just a little fella 

Barely 5'3 

But he caused a great commotion 

Down in Ducktown, Tennessee 

Now it was nothing that the old man did 

Or one word that he said; 

Fact is the trouble didn't start 

Till three days after he was dead. 

It was a military funeral 

With the family gathered 'round 

Come to show the old man honor 

And to ease him in the ground 

But murmurs spread among the crowd 

And the mourners' blood ran cold 

When up pulled the big squad car 

Marked Tennessee State Patrol 

It was the old mans youngest son 

Doing 25 to life 

For burning down his brother's trailer 

And running off with his wife 

The entire family was divided 

Held together by a shaky truce 

And then a woman yelled, 

'I still love you Al!' and all hell broke lose 

Brothers, uncles, sisters, cousins 

Knife and fist fights by the dozens, 

Yellin', spittin', bitin', hittin' 

What a sight to see! 

At the Ducktown knock down 

Family funeral fight! 

It started in the afternoon 

And lasted half the night; 

Ten were stabbed two were shot 

Nobody walked or talked quite right 

After the Ducktown, knock down 

Family funeral fight! 

Well they called out the county Mounties 

And more highway patrol 

And after about an hour or two 

They finally gained control 

The sheriff said this is a disgrace 

And I'm haulin' all y'all in 

But not till we've brought this service 

To a decent end 

So the Honor Guard stepped forward 

Fired their rifles in the air 

An old lady who was snoozin' 

Jumped and fell out of her chair 

And as she hit that Astroturf you won't 

Believe what happened then 

A boy yelled "Whoa, they shot grandma!" 

And here we go again 

Mourners, Police, Honor Guards, 

Relatives from near and far 

Cussin', fussin', bitin', and hittin', 

What a sight to see! 

At the Ducktown knock down 

Family funeral fight! 

It started in the afternoon 

And lasted half the night; 

10 were stabbed 2 were shot 

Nobody walked or talked quite right 

After the Ducktown, knock down 

Family funeral fight! 

It was the Ducktown, knock down 

Family funeral feud! 

You can't believe the mayhem 

And the chaos that ensued! 

Why they even shot the sheriff, 

Punched out the preacher's lights, 

At the Ducktown, knock down 

Family funeral fight! 

The Ducktown, knock down 

Family funeral fight!