Too Drunk To Fish Lyrics - Ray Stevens Box Set - Ray Stevens

Recitation 

Now me and Harold this buddy of mine decided that we'd go fishin' 

one time, so we drove to the lake with my brand new bass boat. I 

brought the fishin' poles the pork and beans the saltine crackers 

and the canned sardines, and Harold brought all the booze one man 

could tote. While I loaded the boat and filled the tank and tried to 

get that motor to crank, Harold just sat there sippin' on a longneck 

beer. While I was steerin' the boat and tyin' the plugs he was 

drinkin' moonshine straight from the jug and he was 

singing "Melancholy Baby" when we left the pier, huh, huh... 

Chorus 

Oh, never go fishin' with a man who has been drinkin' 

Cause things just might not work out like you'd wish 

Just leave that fool at home to drink 

He'll be just as happy fishin' in the kitchen sink 

Don't go near the water with a man too drunk to fish 

Recitation 

Well, I was concentratin', perfectin' my cast, hopin' to land a 

trophy bass and Harold was havin' trouble tryin' to find the lake. 

Layin' there beside him at his feet was an anchor line coiled up 

real neat, Harold saw it went white as a ghost and 

hollered "Snake!" Well, he jumped straight up and began to 

yell. I said "Sit down Harold and behave yourself. Can't you see 

that ain't nothin' but a piece of rope." Ha, ha... Well, he was 

scared to death, plumb out of his mind tryin' not to get bit by that 

anchor line and he grabbed my shotgun blew a hole in the bottom of 

the boat...(Blam! Harold! Glup... glub... glub) 

Chorus 

Never go fishin' with a man who has been drinkin' 

Cause things just might not work out like you'd wish 

Just leave that fool at home to drink 

He'll be just as happy fishin' in the kitchen sink 

Don't go near the water with a man too drunk to fish 

Recitation 

Now too drunk to fish is too drunk to swim. So I was dog paddlin' 

and draggin' him and finally made it to a little sand bar just big 

enough for two. It was way after dark when that helicopter came with 

that big searchlight and callin' our names. And Harold looked up to 

the sky and said, "Lord is that you?" 

Slowly 

And then he knelt there in that heavenly glow and said "Lord you 

know I ain't ready to go so if you pass me by tonight, oh... I will 

reform." Then they threw down a raft and I paddled us home he never 

touched a drop from that moment on. Ya know the Lord works in 

mysterious ways his miracles to perform. 

Chorus 

Never go fishin' with a man who has been drinkin' 

Cause things just might not work out like you'd wish 

Just leave that fool at home to drink 

He'll be just as happy fishin' in the kitchen sink 

Don't go near the water with a man too drunk to fish 

Don't go near the water with a man too drunk to fish...