im gettin married to my pickup truck. it doesn't leave me when im down on my luck. it doesn't shop at fancy stores or have a lawyer. or want a divorce.
if you play your cards wrong. you can take me home tonight. you've got all the makings. of my future ex-wife. i've got 3 bucks. my credit sucks. and my future don't look to bright.
Related. . 23 Boy Band Slow Jams That Made You Believe In Love. . 23 Of The Most Heartbreaking Christmas Songs Ever. . Watch Cardi B Joins James Corden For Carpool Karaoke.
I like older women, how bout you.. . Nineteens are good to look at,. but they're to young for my lovin.. Twenties are fun, but they're not done,. You need to stick them back in the oven..
Moooooooorning Woood. Yeeehhhaaaa!. . Well I get up in the mornin and I'm feelin good. Cuz underneath the covers is my mornin wood. My wife wakes up and looks my way.
Lift me up each day. Even though you've gone away. Your Spirit dances in my mind. In my heart, and in my soul. The life you lived, The Love you left. The one's you've touched, we won't forget.
She likes to go hunting with her buddies. She once killed a dear with just a stick. She likes those smoky bars and rock gut whiskey. And pull my fingers still her favorite trick.
I remember way back, when I was just a boy. Going places with my mom and dad. It used to scare me to death. How mamma used to act. After six or seven beers she's had.
Men and Women - Rodney Carrington. . You women have so much power in your pants you have no clue. You have to much power! That little hairy critter you got in you bridges causes more shit than anything else in this world. If I had a twat in my bridges I'd be in a hotel room right now with eight guys, 'cause I'm a big old hoar. You have to much power. You can ....in the front yard and tell your man: 'Now you go out there and eat that, when you come back, you can have some!' You know what he'd do? Whah whah! He 'd come running back into the house with a chocolate ring around his lips. 'I did it!'. You stupid son of a bitch, I was kiddin'. Well, I still get the pussy don't I? Well no, you got shit in your mouth!.
I was 12 years old when I learned to masterbate. I was peekin through my brothers door staring at his date. She wasn't fine but I didn't care and I barely had any pubic hair.
Related. . The 18 Greatest Revenge Songs of All Time. . 23 Of The Most Heartbreaking Christmas Songs Ever. . Watch Cardi B Joins James Corden For Carpool Karaoke.
When I'm sittin' on a toilet in a house that I don't know. Lookin' all around me where'd the toilet paper go. Feelin' real uneasy, feelin' real uncertain.
Dear Penis,. I don't think I like you anymore,. You used to watch me shave,. Now all u do is stare at the floor.. Oh dear Penis,. I don't like you anymore..
Think I better dance now. . Kiss, kiss. Kiss, kiss. Kiss. . You gotta not talk dirty, baby. If you wanna impress me. You can't be too flirty, mama. I know how to undress me.
One beer then I'm gone. The ugliest women that I've laid eyes on. got together and decided to come here. They're not pretty. They're not small. I don't give a damn at all.
Related. . Can You Guess The Song By The Emojis?. . 23 Of The Most Heartbreaking Christmas Songs Ever. . Watch Cardi B Joins James Corden For Carpool Karaoke.
When we first met, we made love every hour. Nowadays, I allways have to beg. When we first met, your stomace was a six-pack. Nowadays, it looks more like a keg.
It's Too Late Lyrics. . (M)-We first met we made love every hour, now -A- days I always have to beg.. (W)-When we first met your stomach was a six-pack, now -A- days it looks more like a keg..
Related. . Songs You Love If You Love Nerds. . 23 Of The Most Heartbreaking Christmas Songs Ever. . Watch Cardi B Joins James Corden For Carpool Karaoke.
Back in 1932 in a sleazy bordello. Grandma worked her fingers to the bone. While others were baking cookies. Grandma was sellin' nookie to lonly men so they wouldn't be alone.