Lennon: Help, you're making my ears bleed, you need a muzzle!. Why're you pissed off all the time, didn't your mom give you a cuddle?. You're the type of guy who could die of a heart attack just in the shower!.
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!. GEORGE R. R. MARTIN.... VERSUS.... J. R. R. TOLKEIN! BEGIN!. Brace yourselves!. Gather up your trolls and your soldier elves!.
Oi mate, pass the liquor, it's Jack the Ripper. I'm a human trigger warning, through the night until the morning. When the light shines upon my crimes, you find it sick, appalling.
Adolf Hitler versus Darth Vader. . I am adolf hitler,. commander of the third reich. little known fact: also dope on the mic. you are vader, with your little boots and cape.
Epic Rap Battles of History!. Kim Jong-il. Versus. Hulk Hogan!. Begin!. The name's Kim Jong, I got a license to IL. make you swallow my rhymes like a steroids pill.
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!. MARTIN LUTHER KING!. VS!. GANDHI!. BEGIN!. . You want to battle wits? see who's a better pacifist. I fought the caste system, but you still cannot touch this.
How you gonna battle? I invented hip-hopping!. My little tail swinging and my big ears flopping!. The Easter Bunny, baby. I deserve to be arrogant!. You ugly, rapist, pelt wearing barbarian!.
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!. Gordon Ramsay. Versus. Julia Child!. BEGIN!. . And that's how you make a perfect risotto. Right, Mrs. Child, welcome to the grown-ups' table.
Ho! What's wrong with your face? Baby, yikes!. With those teeth when you're through there'll be no dust left to bite!. Christ, newsflash, kid: this is show business!.
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!. GANDALF. VS. DUMBLEDORE!!!. BEGIN. YOU. SHALL. NOT. PASS!. I rap fast like Shadowfax. Tom Riddle me this, you bitch. How's your litle wand gonna beat my staff?.
Shakespeare:. Come bite my thumb. I hope you know the stakes. I'll put a slug between your shoulder blades. then ask what light through yonder poser breaks?.
[Verse 1: Albert Einstein. When I apply my battle theory. Minds are relatively blown". So take a seat Steve. Oops — I see you brought your own!. What's with your voice.
RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!. DOC BROWN!. VERSUS!. DOCTOR WHO!. BEGIN!. . Ooh, actually, if you don't mind, it's just "The Doctor". Doesn't even really matter who. Who am I even talking to? Oh yes, you!.
Wake up, Scrooge, I'm about to take a Dickens of a dump. On this lonely, homely little miserable grump. I'm like the star on a Christmas tree, you're like the stump.
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY. DARTH VADER VS ADOLF HITLER. BEGIN. . Adolf Hitler:. I am Adolf Hitler,. Commander of the Third Reich.. Little known fact:.
Oh, is it me?. Well here's my first issue. I barely even know enough about you to diss you. But you guys honestly think that I'd screw this feud up. And lose to the dude a huge toothy cootchie chewed up?.
Epic rap battles of history!. Cleopatra vs Marilyn Monroe!. Begin!. . Whose rap flow's the dopest? Marilyn Monroe's is. Overthrow pharaohs who oppose me like Moses.
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EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY. BOB ROSS. V.S. PABLO PICASSO. BEGIN!. Picasso: I am the greatest. the modern art Muhammed Ali.. I melt faces. call me MC Dali..
I've got the baddest fists of fury that the world ever saw. Defeat whole karate schools and motherfuckers with claws. How can you talk more shit, with my fist in yo jaw?.